Self-Care VS. Selfish: How do we navigate cultural messages that tell us to never put ourselves first?

I know so many who have struggled with the line between self-care and selfish.

I, too, have done my own dance with it - wondering if it's safe and okay for me to be extraordinarily happy, abundantly wealthy, and continually receive more.

Or perhaps I am just a selfish bitch. (Thankfully I can't even type those words without laughing out loud!)

We live in a culture that says things like…

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Communication & Abundance: A simple tool to go from defensive to calm in challenging conversations

I was with one of my friends a few months ago and found myself in a bit of a rant. It went something like this:

If we could all just communicate - not react, judge, assume, or defend, but actually communicate authentically without charge - we would discover we have more in common than we think and have more compassion and love to share.

Communicating is the basis of abundance and creating what you desire.

Clarity, boundaries, connection, love, to be seen and understood. So much of our ability to navigate the world henges on 1) being aware of ourselves, our needs and our desires and 2) being able to communicate all of that to others.

Communication creates a foundation for successful relationships in our personal and professional lives.

And yet… it can be SO HARD to communicate. 

Why?

Because we have baggage and big feels from past traumas and experiences - old messages, patterns, and belief systems - that interrupt our ability to communicate what’s actually happening in various situations in our lives…

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Face Judgment with Big Love

Ever have the feeling you are rocking out, so proud of yourself and what you are doing, confident and secure… and then you share with someone who doesn’t get it and all those feelings disappear?

I would imagine that all of our hands are going up. Even the seemingly most confident people I’ve met still have moments of insecurity when being judged.

And yet, facing judgment is inevitable. In fact, if you are really standing in your truth, it is more likely you will be judged.

So then what?

How do you navigate the world, authentically being you and doing what you love, when you know you could be judged?

This is what today’s Ask Kelsey is all about…

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End of Summer Anxiety? Go From Overwhelm to Action With These 3 Steps

August has a tendency to bring a wave of anxiety.

Whether you are fresh back from vacation, prepping for the upcoming school year, navigating the last of summer events or merely attempting to digest the daily news, the sensation of overwhelm is real - and can be paralyzing. 

Summer is the season for vacation, a gift that we look forward to all year, which can make the transition back to daily life stressful (to say the least)…

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How to let go of hope that your parent will change and care about you.

Last weekend was Mother’s Day and soon enough it will be Father’s Day also. For many these days are celebratory, but for many others they highlight challenging or nonexistent parent relationships.

Today’s Ask Kelsey Question is for those who have the latter. 

It’s a big one, and the answer, or at least my answer, is not something you can do once and forever be healed. 

In essence, it’s the journey we’re all on in some form:

The journey of healing from the past, becoming our own parent, rewiring old stories that no longer serve us, choosing not to be defined by the actions or perspectives of others, and choosing new ways of being that enable us to receive more love on all levels. 

NBD (no big deal)…

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How To Stay Positive: Facing pessimistic thoughts with love

Yesterday I set out to make a new Ask Kelsey video.

The question was about how to interrupt pessimistic thinking and remain positive, especially when facing daily challenges and messages of self-judgment. 

It was a good one! 

And I had great answers!! Simple tools that have helped me stay present and shift myself back to a miracle mindset.

So I went about setting up the space, preparing the camera equipment and recording as usual, but when I took a look at the first recording, it was blurry.

Okay, I said. No problem. I made some adjustments and re-recorded, thinking this take was even better! 

But when I looked at the footage, it was yet again blurry. Hmmm, okay, I say to myself. Let’s make another attempt. This time just a test. Everything appeared to be functioning properly so I went into another take. This one, again, even more lovely than the last. 

Yep, you guessed it: Blurry…

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How do you want to feel this holiday season? Conscious Holiday Tips To Honor Your Desires

Two years ago, I decided I was done feeling sick and rundown on Christmas.

I was done giving in to what others wanted and I was ready to honor my desires not just throughout the holiday season, but also going into the new year.

So I sat down and thought about what I wanted to feel instead.

I wanted to feel healthy, energized and connected - to myself and to others.

Just having this shift in awareness helped me feel more abundant, but I knew I needed to get even more clear. I went deeper and made a list of what could help me feel healthy, energized and connected.

I came up with the following…

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Drop The Fight & Discover More Love: How I prepared for a very challenging conversation

What if I told you the same old fights could have an entirely different outcome?

When you’re feeling attacked, it’s easy to get defensive.

But going head to head usually doesn’t gain headway, just a couple of hurt heads.

The most successful conversations I’ve had with coworkers, family members, employees and clients have been when I dropped the fight.

A few months back I was preparing for a challenging conversation. One of those where I felt judged and attacked by this person from an email they sent and I knew I couldn’t just brush it off as no big deal.

Now, this is someone I cannot just avoid and for my own self worth I wanted to speak my truth and respond to their harsh words.

So I prepared. And it looked like this…

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