A young girl is visiting family. It’s her birthday so they take her to a mall and say, “You can pick out anything you want.”
The girl points to a store with ball gowns and fancy dresses. All she wants is to wear one of those fancy dresses - a princess dress.
The adult says, “Oh, not those. If you want a dress we’ll buy you some sun dresses, but not one of those dresses.”
The sun dresses were fine, they were lovely. And quite practical.
But they weren’t the one thing the little girl wanted, and she thought maybe she couldn’t have it because she didn’t deserve it. Maybe it was too nice for her or maybe she just couldn’t be a fancy princess.
Side Note To Parents & Caregivers:
“You can pick out anything you want” is a dangerous phrase. Help them tailor their choices: Pick out something small, something that you can share with friends, whatever it is. If your child does pick out something that you don’t agree with for whatever reason, have a full conversation about it.
If I could go back in time and be the adult in this scenario I would have asked why do you want the fancy dress, given reasons as to why it may not be an appropriate choice, AND perhaps offered something that resonated with the childlike intention of wanting to be a fancy princess. For instance, “Let’s get glitter and crowns so we can be princesses in every outfit!”
If you haven’t already surmised, that little girl was me. This memory had long been forgotten until about a month ago when I began working with my friend, personal stylist and branding expert, Jessica Myhr of Inherent Style.
She’s been helping me shine my inner light brightly and authentically through my clothing and branding. It’s been amazing and I have learned so much - from colors that make my skin glow to what shapes and textures suit my aesthetic and personality.
To some it may seem superficial - I assure you, it is anything but.
To choose clothes you love is powerful, bold, and courageous. (Click to Tweet.)
When you start to shine, old messages from peers, society, and family about who we are, who we can be, and what is “appropriate” come out of the woodwork.
I realized that I hadn’t been wearing “fancy” clothes because the little girl in me didn’t feel worthy.
I had been hiding in clothes that were mostly blue and black - if you know me at all I am not a blue and black personality.
And most of my clothes were from Target and Old Navy - still love these stores, but really I was shopping there because it felt safe and not because I absolutely loved the clothing.
I didn’t shop at other stores because the messages in my head were saying: You’ll just get that nice shirt dirty or that’s too expensive or you’re not fancy enough to wear that.
Well, honey, you can always find quality on discount and when I wear these “fancy” clothes (they really aren’t that fancy, by the way) I feel like a rock star. And not just any rock star - a Kelsey fairy princess rock star! It’s the best kind.
All of this is to remind you to let your light shine.
Be you and only you.
As you’re shopping this holiday season, notice the messages you received as a child and any messages you might be passing on to your kids. If any old messages came to the surface as you've been reading this post, let me know in the comments below.
Let yourself play.
Shining is harder than it looks. But the struggle is worth it. (Click to Tweet.)
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So much love,