Want to expand? Don't forget this crucial step

More often than not, in order to expand, you must first contract. (Click to Tweet.)

This happens in healing, in business, and in love.

Removing my IUD was an opportunity to expand my life -- with it gone, I could potentially have more energy and vitality, feel healthier, have less intense periods, and overall enjoy more time doing the things I love versus constantly being pulled out of my daily life to care for my body.

The process of removal, though, and so far every period since, has been a reminder that I still need to contract. I still need to slow down, to heal, to detox, to love and forgive myself.

And the more I allow myself to contract completely, the more all of those necessary and vital steps to the expansion I desire, happen with ease.


Contracting isn’t easy.

Just like contractions during birth, contracting can be overwhelming, painful and no fun at all. But it’s natural. We contract in order to expand and make space for new life. 

If we resist then it becomes worse. We have to learn to go with the flow.

Let go. Let go again. Let go some more. (Click to Tweet.)

In business I have found that expanding all day every day is simply unsustainable. Expanding in dedicated loving bursts, however, is proving to yield greater results!

In love and family, too, expansion and contraction happens - often from moment to moment.

Your partner, your child or your friend might need space one minute and a hug the next.

Just as in the other areas, we have to honor this need, versus resist it.

Resistance creates arguments, frustration and hurt feelings. On the other hand, calm presence allows the contraction to occur and then transform without effort.

Be patient, loving and kind to yourself and to those you love as you notice another moment of contraction. It will inevitably expand, if it’s given space and nourishment to do so.

Allowing is as simple as breathing in and out, we just forget.

In the heat of the moment we clench our jaw, tighten our muscles and hold our breath. By focusing on breathing in and out, we can bring ourselves back to the present and back to the flow.


If you'd like some extra support, this in-depth Brain Gym technique helps both body and mind release the past to open the space for change to take place.

  1. Sit comfortably on the floor in a butterfly position with feet together and knees resting apart.
  2. Place hands on your belly with your fingers spread open.
  3. As you exhale, allow the belly to contract and lean forward with a straight back.
  4. Allow your inhalation to gently curve your body back to an upright position.
  5. Continue with the flow of your own breath.

Your turn

What are you making space for in your life? What do you want to create? In order to create this new experience, what do you have to let go of? Make it real, share in the comments below. 

Be gentle with yourself and keep going. It's worth it. 

Big love,


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